Overcoming Professional Hurdles
Whether you’re 50, 25, or 35.. you probably have experienced a Professional Hurdle. Some of them have been traumatic, others have simply just been eye opening. For me, it was a bit of both, but it seemed to plague me and follow me to my next jobs.
For those that can relate, are you still dwelling on that experience?
Finding it hard to move on?
You’re not the only one, many of us hold onto those experiences either consciously or subconsciously. For me, it happened early on in my career with an abusive and manipulative boss. At first I was unsure what to think of it as he would make racial remarks like if it were part of our normal conversation. Then it transitioned to him making remarks about my lifestyle and weight.
Soon enough he was making it public via facebook about my work habits and my ethnicity. At first, I laughed it off and continued working as I knew I needed the job to make ends meet.
I have always been one to try to stick it out at a job because I am far from a quitter, but things took a turn for the worst when we decided to hold interviews for potential employees. One female was an obvious choice, but he insisted that this hire be attractive and fit. The obvious choice did not exactly fit that mold and he insisted that we see just how “BIG” she was. He paused the footage of her sitting on the couch and directed us to sit in the same position to see how much bigger she was then the staff.
To say the least, I was floored!
What took me over the edge was a book I received from him right before a business trip. Seems innocent right? I thought the same until I opened it and read a message that reiterated why I needed to run to the next job ASAP. He continued his abusive ways in this book and made me feel about an inch tall.
I shortly after, went on a job hunt and found a different job and happily left the company.
But go Figure, It doesn’t end there!
he continues his abusive and defaming ways on Facebook and his beloved blog. Even after a year , he still continued to rant about my race and how I was the worst employee.
23 at the time, I didn’t understand what would possess someone to do this to someone. Like many of you reading this, you are trying to rationalize the behavior, but I myself tried to as well and came up blank.
Unfortunately, I carried this traumatic experience to my next job and took constructive criticism the wrong way and it rubbed management the wrong way. I never let it affect my performance in sales as I always hungry to be the best, but my relationship suffered because I constantly saw the lunatic.
I say all that to say this, changing jobs will not make things go away and getting over a professional hurdle is not as simple as forgetting it ever happened.
Until recently I hadn’t been able to overcome this Professional Hurdle, but I finally got some of the best advice from my amazing mom who told me that only I can allow it to stick around.
- Confront what is bothering you
- understand that its in the past
- Recognize you had no control over it.
- Actions like his are simply cries of his unhappiness in his life.
Hope this has helped you in your current Professional Hurdle. Do not let one person or company slow you down!